Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Stupid Question

College Humor isn't one of my favorite sites. Sometimes they have killer, hilarious articles, other times they are dull, ironically un-funny, or just plain pointless. Fortunately for you all I love one of their regular articles tittle "Stupid Questions Hall of Fame." Basically college students submit quotes from other students asking stupid or ridiculous questions.

In order to save you the trouble of going through several links (and in order make it look like I did a lot of hard work) here are the best of the stupidest questions.

University of Georgia, Athens, GA
In a pathogenesis class, looking at the incidence of gonorrhea by year:
Professor: What do you think caused this increase here? (Points to around 1963)
Closet Racist: Civil Rights?

Texas A M, College Station, TX
Professor: "Be sure to bring your SCANTRON for 882-E for the test Wednesday."
Stupid Girl: "Is our test multiple choice?"
Professor: "No its an essay exam only using the letters A,B,C,D, and E."

Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana
Professor: So when talking to older adults, we use simple words, talk in a
higher pitch, and tend to be patronizing. Who else do we do this to?
Vocal Racist: Latinos?

Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, CA

Economics discussion about students in third world countries gaining internet access

Professor: So do we all think students in Thailand would use computers and the internet for educational purposes ?
Sorostitute: Umm...but if they don't speak English, how are they gonna read what's on the internet?

Belmont University, Nashville, TN

Professor: A theoretical is a question like, "Knowing the future what would you change about the past?"
The Mind:
Or like, knowing the past what would you change about the future?
No, that is just called living.

Trinity University, San Antonio, TX
During Civil Rights class
Professor: She was Hispanic, so she joined the Farm Workers Association.
Bro: Wait, she was Hispanic? It thought that she was Mexican...

Los Angeles Valley College, Valley Glen, CA
Professor: Who can tell me what the worst part of being a slave was?
The Enlightened One: Being Black?
Professor: *Smacks kid with a newspaper*

University of Central Arkansas, Conway, Arkansas
On the week of Friday the 13th
Genius: Do you think September 11th will ever fall on Friday the 13th?
Everyone in class starts laughing really hard.

University of Montana, Missoula, MT
History Professor: For hundreds of years, dragons have been an important part
of Japanese mythology...
Scholarly Girl: Are dragons extinct now, or do they still have them in Japan?

Dutchess Community College in Poughkeepsie New York.
In some random biology class.
Any questions?
Dumbass blond girl:
At what age does a deer become a moose?

Montclair State University, Montclair, NJ
In Islamic history class

Professor: Muslims use all parts of the animal after they kill it. What are some examples?
Genius: Do they still use the bones for tools?
Professor: (sighs)

Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama
Professor: "Why was Eli Whitney's cotton gin such an important invention
in 1793?"
Rich Girl From Georgia: "Cuz it gave black people steady jobs?"
Angry stares from all around

Champlain College, Burlington VT
In a International Hospitality Class:
Professor: What are some other countries that use American Dollars as their currency?
Blondie: Hawaii?

Penn State, State College, PA
During a sociology lecture...
Professor: A lot of children who are a part of step-families experience problems. It's not usually like the Brady Bunch.
Girl who's devaluing my degree: Wait. The Brady Bunch was a step-family? That's what the song meant?

UMass, Amherst, MA
Professor: What benefits does the Earth receive by having an atmosphere?
Contestant #1: Gravity? Contestant #2: Night and Day?

University of Maryland, College Park, MD
In an Information Technology review
Are computer viruses man made?

Fanshawe College, London, UK
Prof: "The contributions to society made by these native Indians are huge"
Stupid Guy: "Yeah, didn't Indians invent fire?"
Even Stupider Girl: "Umm I'm pretty sure HUMANS invented fire!"

Drake University, Des Moines, IA
Tiny Blonde Girl: So, was Pearl Harbor retaliation for us dropping the atomic bombs on Japan?
Professor: *Stares*

Forsyth Technical Community College, Winston-Salem, NC
After studying a famous Renaissance painting in Art class
Professor: What are the characters in the painting looking at?
Genius Girl: The camera?

Wayne State College, Wayne, NE
In econ, talking about guns and butter - economics during wartime
Professor: "Today we will be discussing guns and butter."
Douchebag: "What kind of guns? I know a lot about guns. What kind of guns are they?"
Professor: "The guns are fake. They are just used to symbolize any product that is in demand."
Douchebag: "So...they're toy guns?"

University of Richmond, Richmond, VA
In a freshman composition class, the professor was outlining the requirements for a paper (1-inch margins, 12-pt. font, etc.) and a girl, whom I shall refer to as The Bright Spot in the Universe, raised her hand.
The Bright Spot in the Universe: "Does this have to be in complete sentences?".

Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Bio Professor: ...so that is why if you don't drink enough water, one becomes dehydrated and could eventually die.
Blondie: Why can't we just drink our spit?
Bio Professor: Leave please.

Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond, VA
In comparative politics, talking about how women have no rights in Iran
Professor: "Women in Iran have no social or political rights. They have no say in Iran's society."
Asshole: "So where did we go wrong with our society?"
Professor: "This is another instance where you should not speak."

University at Buffalo, Buffalo, NY
Professor: By 1740, what country had the highest Gross National Product?
Genius: New York City?
Professor: *Sighs*

North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC
In Fortran Computer Language Class for Engineering Students

Professor: So when you add it all up you just multiply 16 by 16.
Einstein: How are we supposed to know what 16 times 16 is?
Professor: ...
Einstein: Can we get partial credit if we add wrong?
Professor: My descendants will be traveling on the bridges you construct, so no, no you cannot.

College of Charleston, Charleston, SC
Genius: Excuse me. What does the etc. at the end of that sentence mean?
Professor: Are you serious?
Genius: I guess so.
Professor: How did you even get into college?

Drexel University, Philadelphia, PA
During Multivariate Calculus
Student: "What are those two lines there for?"
Professor: "What? What do you mean?"
Student: "Those two horizontal lines there - what do they mean?"
Professor: "That's an equals sign."

Manhattan College, Bronx, New York
During Art Appreciation

Professor: Today we are going to start the self portraits we have been learning about.
Genius: Do we get to pick who we do our's on?

Saint Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA
Brilliant Young Man: Wouldn't it be great if they had flying busses?
Professor: ...Yes, they're called planes, son.

University of Florida, Gainesville, FL
Professor: You can buy the notes to help you study over the break, but you all will probably be saving your money for "Black Friday."
Stupid Girl: What is that... Martin Luther King Day?

Texas A&M, College Station, TX
During a Psychology class
Professor: Who can tell me who Sigmund Freud was?
Is that like the guy with the tigers?

Thomas More College, Lexington, KY
While looking over the class list before registration...
Why does professor Staff teach so many classes?

University of Portland, Portland, OR
In Life Span Development Class during a debate on fetuses
Brilliant Young Woman: Is it true that 33% of all women who have abortions dodn't even know they're pregnant?

Western Washington University, Bellingham, WA
During a lecture about the African slave trade.
Professor: "The slaves were taken away from their families to go across the Atlantic to where they would be sold as slaves."
Brilliant Girl: "Why did the Africans want to be slaves?"
Professor: [silent]

University of Richmond, Richmond, VA
In a US History class, during a discussion of slavery.
Professor: The three-fifths compromise was an agreement reached between
the North and the South under which only 3/5 of slaves counted towards a
state's population in the House of Representatives.
Genius Girl: Wait... slaves count as one now, right?
Professor: *Asks girl to leave*

WACTC (Nurse Training School), PA
Instructor: If someone had shortness of breath and complaining of chest pain, what would you do?
Worst Nurse Ever: Call 911?
Instructor: You are 911.

Sinclair Community College, Dayton, OH
In a class about the Holocaust
Professor: "Christians were also targeted..."
Creepy girl in the same clothes every day: "By Christians do you mean everyone, or just Christians?"

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