Friday, August 18, 2006

Movies, The Way They Sould Have Been Written

You have to check out This site is hilarious.

What they do is write a script parody of the original movie. Trust me, this is a brilliant site. They do what we all wish we could, make fun of movies and their stupid plot holes and ridiculous story elements.

The site has parody scripts for Star Wars, Van Helsing, Spider-man, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Matrix, and many more. Here are few examples:

From Lord of the Rings: The Fellow Ship of The Ring:

Elijah, you must take this ring. It is the Ring of Power, forged by the evil Lord Sauron long ago. Travel to a far away land with your cohorts. I will meet you there and we will venture to Mount Doom to destroy the ring. You must arrive safely - the fate of Middle Earth depends on your success.

Er..uh..I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to play some Nintendo.

There's no time, Elijah! I must go find Christopher Lee and seek his guidance. Good luck, the fate of all life rests in your small, hairy hands.

I.. uh..

(bolting out the door)
Don't fuck up!

ELIJAH stares at the ring. As he does so, his face contorts to an expression of limitless fear. His eyes widen and his mouth gapes slightly open with shock and terror. This expression never leaves his face again - ever.

From Star War Episode III: Revenge of the Sith:

You know, I love you with all the love one can love a lover with.

Wow, that almost tops your 'wish' line from the last movie. Tell me again on the balcony while I brush my hair and look vaguely hideous.

From The Matrix:Revolutions:

SUDDENLY, the ship crashes into the city somewhere. KEANU walks out and meets with A GIANT MACHINE WITH A FAT FACE CREATED BY HUNDREDS OF LITTLE FLYING MACHINES.

What the hell do you want?

I just want this movie to have one more scene that actually takes place in the matrix before the trilogy ends. I will face Hugo Weaving and we'll beat up on each other.

Good. There's no way I, as the machine running this whole show, could ever just delete Hugo on my own. I need you to kill him in a simulated reality, that'll do the trick.

Source [via]

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